Peak Feminism: Not What We Thought?
That, plus Queen Bey's version of bad-b*tch feminism, what the USC women's hoops coach thinks about trans players, and more!
Happy Friday, friends! Raise your hand if you can’t believe we’re already halfway through the month of April. 🙋♀️🙋♀️🙋♀️ I’m enjoying the warmer weather for sure. The pollen? Not so much. Ah, spring. She’s a catch-22. Anywho, we’ve got lots to talk about today, so let’s dive in!
1 Thing to do today (if nothing else)
Embrace the warm weather with this recipe for Texas Ranch Water. I guarantee once this bebe of mine is born, this will be on constant rotation over the summer. :)
Gut Check: Does achieving peak feminism require…marrying an older man
You thought you knew feminism? Think again. The Cut recently published a first-person essay from a 27-year-old writer who boldly goes where no modern-day feminist has gone before her: Arguing the benefits of marrying young, and marrying an older man. That’s right, ladies: the key to unlocking true feminism is to put yourself in situations in which you can attract a specimen of the opposite gender who is wealthy and at least 10 years your senior. While I have some issues with her approach (obviously), I find her unfiltered honesty…refreshing. I can get on board with at least one of her takes to modern feminism: the non-whiney one.
See, instead of simply complaining about how, in the year 2024, women STILL get a raw deal, the writer simply says “sure, ok women get a raw deal. Here’s the formula for sucking it up, solving the problem, and still being a feminist. Use your God-given brains, ladies!” So, I award her 10 points for the chin-up attitude. Here’s a key passage that caught my eye:
There is no brand of feminism which achieved female rest. If women’s problem in the ’50s was a paralyzing malaise, now it is that they are too active, too capable, never permitted a vacation they didn’t plan. It’s not that our efforts to have it all were fated for failure. They simply weren’t imaginative enough.
Imagination hat on, here’s the solution: find a rich, older man. Which sounds so…anti-feminist? So regressive? So 1950’s? Eh….the writer makes her case:
For me, my relationship, with its age gap, has alleviated this rush (Amanda’s side note: she’s talking about the rush to have kids before one’s biological clock runs out), permitted me to massage the clock, shift its hands to my benefit. Very soon, we will decide to have children, and I don’t panic over last gasps of fun, because I took so many big breaths of it early: on the holidays of someone who had worked a decade longer than I had, in beautiful places when I was young and beautiful, a symmetry I recommend. If such a thing as maternal energy exists, mine was never depleted. I spent the last nearly seven years supported more than I support and I am still not as old as my husband was when he met me. When I have a child, I will expect more help from him than I would if he were younger, for what does professional tenure earn you if not the right to set more limits on work demands — or, if not, to secure some child care, at the very least? When I return to work after maternal upheaval, he will aid me, as he’s always had, with his ability to put himself aside, as younger men are rarely able. Above all, the great gift of my marriage is flexibility.
Perhaps many young women will find this method preferable to the “normal” alternative: spending your 20s grinding it out in the workforce, dating a series of “boys” who can’t or won’t man up, and then either settling down with one and feeling the pressure to procreate right away, or NOT settling down with one and STILL feeling the pressure to procreate right away. Regardless, who am I to judge? I say you do you and if you happen to fall in love with a man who was born in an entirely different decade, then praise be. If not, well, that’s ok too. No plan is perfect and things rarely work out as we intend them to. Just live your values, find your peace and trust there’s something better coming. xoxo
Feminist Files
Ok - we all know abortion is already a huge issue politically speaking in 2024, and Democrats are going to lean into it like it’s nobody’s business. Case in point: The Biden campaign just released a new ad featuring a couple from Texas who miscarried at 18 weeks. Because of the state’s strict abortion ban, the wife was apparently unable to get treatment to remove the deceased baby from her womb; as a result, she became infected, was hospitalized with sepsis, and nearly died. The whole thing is extremely tragic and heartbreaking. But am I the only one who thinks it’s sick and gross to capitalize on their pain for a political ad? Seriously: What have we come to? I was horrified watching this and not because I’m pro-abortion. Because it felt wrong for me to see two strangers struggle with such deep and personal grief with a campaign logo plastered all over their pain.
That aside, I’m all for states doing their own thing on abortion right now, but we’ve GOT to clean up these pro-life bills so that women who miscarry can get medical treatment. Removing a deceased baby from a womb - after a miscarriage - is NOT an abortion. Let’s stop pretending that it is.
“Donald Trump did this”: New Biden abortion ad features a woman who says she almost died because of the Texas ban | NBC News
Writer Kate Rosenfeld has an essay in Unherd that picks apart Beyonce’s rendition of the Dolly Parton classic, “Jolene.” Now, I’ve been enjoying Cowboy Carter (is it really country, though?), but Rosenfeld makes some great points about Queen Bey’s take on a song that’s about one woman pleading with another not to take her man. Instead of using Parton’s lyrics word-for-word, Beyonce changes them to “I’m warning you, don’t come for my man.” Here’s Rosenfeld:
What’s interesting about those bad-bitch cliches is how often they’re employed in service of something that claims to be feminism, but in practice seems like the opposite. Threatening Jolene with violence instead of begging her for mercy is of course the more empowered choice according to the tenets of YASS-KWEEN feminism — but what kind of feminism reserves all its opprobrium for the woman who pursues a married man, while letting the man off the hook? Add to this Beyoncé’s peacocking, masculinised “if you try to touch him I’ll kick your ass” posturing, which paradoxically reveals how disempowered and insecure she is. If she’s a queen, as the song says, and has no doubts about her man’s devotion, then why is she threatening to throw hands at any woman who looks at him sideways?
The whole thing is really worth reading.
Has Beyonce killed Jolene? Bad bitch stereotypes undermine female resilience | Unherd
First of all, congratulations to the University of South Carolina women’s basketball team! As an ardent Clemson Tiger, I have no problem congratulating my fellow South Carolinians! HOWEVER…what the what is going on with Coach Dawn Staley? I get she’s a legend in the womens’ basketball world, but I found her comments on trans women playing in female sports disappointing. To say the least. When female athletic coaches don’t defend women’s sports…that’s a big problem. Does she really want her players playing against biological men? I seriously have a hard time thinking she’d be ok with that. So was her answer simply calculated to satisfy the PC crowd? Who knows, but if she addresses the issue again, I’ll be watching.
South Carolina women’s hoops coach Dawn Staley says transgender athletes should be allowed to play | AP
Political Horse Race
Welp. Joe Biden continues to try and buy rally younger voters by pursuing student loan debt forgiveness. Per the AP:
President Joe Biden said Monday that more than 30 million borrowers would see “life-changing” relief from his new plan to ease their student loan debt burdens, a fresh attempt by the Democratic president to follow through on a campaign pledge that could buoy his standing with younger voters.
…
The plan is smaller and more targeted than Biden’s original plan, which would have canceled up to $20,000 in loans for more than 40 million borrowers. The new plan would cancel some or all federal student loans for more than 30 million Americans, the White House said. The Education Department plans to issue a formal proposal in the coming months, with plans to start implementing parts of the plan as early as this fall.
The plan’s widest-reaching benefit would cancel up to $20,000 in interest for borrowers who have seen their balance grow beyond its original amount due to what Biden described as “runaway” interest. That part of the plan would forgive at least some unpaid interest for an estimated 25 million borrowers, with 23 million getting all their interest erased, according to the White House.
Even if I was ok with debt forgiveness from a moral standpoint, I will never, ever, ever understand how we’re ok with wiping away student debt without tackling the cost of higher education. Forgive the cliched analogy, but this is putting a bandaid on a gaping bullet hole. The cost of getting a four-year college degree is getting ridiculous, but instead of dealing with THAT problem (can’t anger the liberal ivory towers!), we’re just going to pretend that the tuition isn’t freaking insane and the REAL problem are the banks who make the loans that make college possible in the first place.
This move be Biden is nothing more than a desperate attempt to shore up votes in an election year.
Free Time
To watch: Silo on Apple TV. If you’re looking for a new show, this one is good!
Also to watch: Celebrate the Masters by watching this short clip of Scottie Scheffler talking about what defines him. (Hint: It’s not golf)
To listen: Kacey Musgraves’ new album, Deeper Well.
Also to listen: Megyn Kelly’s interview with Dr. Anthony Youn. I’m seriously close to entering my mid-30s, which means I’m becoming increasingly inundated with talk about how to look young and beautiful forever. Botox. Fillers. Lasers. Skin care. What the what. Anyway, that’s why I enjoyed Megyn Kelly’s recent interview with Dr. Anthony Youn - a plastic surgeon who nonetheless preaches a more holistic approach to youthful skin.
To buy: If you like snazzy tennis shoes that you’re also able to slide on without using your hands (perfect for pregnant ladies!!), check out Kizik. You guys: I’m a total convert. They feel like I’m walking on clouds and have been a total lifesaver during this third trimester! I have the Roamer.
Also to buy: This nasal spray. If you, like me, are struggling with the aforementioned pollen, this stuff is GREAT.
Thank you for reading! We’ll see you in two weeks! -Amanda