Sydney Sweeney doesn't need our help
That, plus rape shaming (ew), and the eternal quest for perspective
Happy….Sunday? If you’re scratching your head and confused about why The Slip is popping up in your inbox tonight…I get it! It was my (Amanda) turn to write the newsletter this week, but I was hit with a nasty stomach bug and thus couldn’t get it out on time. Blah. Anyway, I didn’t want to get too behind schedule, so here we are! Read on, my friends. And Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
1 Thing to do today (if nothing else)
Listen to this episode of Bari Weiss’ podcast Honestly, with Abigail Shrier, about her new book. It’s truly fascinating - whether you have kids or not.
Gut Check: Do Children Ruin our Careers?
Raise your hand if you remember Lily Allen - the British pop star who made it big around 2008-2009. Allen made headlines this week for “joking” in an interview that having kids ruined her career.
“I never really have a strategy when it comes to career, but yes, my children ruined my career,” said. “I mean I love them and they complete me, but in terms of pop stardom, totally ruined it.”
Lots of people dumped on this quote and to be honest, that was my instinct too. But at the end of the day, I really think the only thing Allen is guilty of here is choosing some poor words to describe her life post-having kids.
Here’s the rest of what Allen said on the subject:
“It really annoys me when people say you can have it all because, quite frankly, you can’t. Some people choose their career over their children and that’s their prerogative… I chose stepping back and concentrating on them, and I’m glad that I have done that because I think they’re pretty well-rounded people.”
Aside from picking the word “ruined” to describe her kids’ impact on her career - which I think will pain them to read one day - I appreciate her honesty. The truth is you CAN’T have it all. Despite what Sheryl Sandberg says, us moms don’t need to just “lean in” a little extra harder to win in all areas of life. Seasons change. Priorities change. Sometimes you have to lean out of your career to be a good parent - which is the point I’m pretty sure Allen is trying to make. It’s about give-and-take. It’s about finding a balance that works.
What’s more, at the end of the day it’s all about perspective. I don’t think Allen sounds bitter about where she’s at in her life right now - at least I hope she’s not. But if she bowed out of her career to embrace motherhood, it will ultimately provide more value and more riches than any pop career ever could. It’s all about perspective.
Yes, you CAN have a career and be a mom - this is not a zero-sum game. But even the most successful working moms will tell you that it still takes plenty of sacrifice. No one is immune to that. The point is, we all make choices along this journey called life and we can either embrace the path we’ve chosen - or be miserable. I think deep down, Allen is ok. At least, that’s the read I get. It just goes back to perspective.
Feminist Files
While I have a love-hate relationship with Rep.Nancy Mace these days, I was legitimately shocked to watch her treatment on ABC’s This Week with George Stephanopoulos. George immediately started the interview by playing back video of Mace speaking about her own experience as a rape victim, and then asked how she could support Donald Trump. It went downhill from there. And honesty: shame on Stephanopoulos. It would be out of bounds for any TV host to hammer a guest like that, but for Stephanopoulos, who spent the better part of his career taking a paycheck from accused rapist and womanizer Bill Clinton, it’s particularly rich. I could go on, but I’ll let Megyn Kelly take it from here.
”Rep. Nancy Mace bashes ABC anchor for rape shaming her over Trump support in fiery interview” | NY Post
I know I’m a little late to this, but I want to give Jason Kelce a shout-out for his comments on fatherhood during his retirement press conference a couple weeks back. They were admirable - truly - and sorely needed in a world that seriously devalues men’s contributions to the home. And yet…and yet! A very small part of me STILL resents the fawning men get in general whenever they talk about wanting to be a good parent - especially when tears are involved. I love the spirit and sentiment - I really do. But what would happen if I went in to quit my job to spend more time with my kids and I started crying? My guess is there isn’t an employer in the world who in that moment, wouldn’t think I was unbalanced or hormonal - or both. That is all. I hate being the rain cloud to Kelce’s sunshine-y day, but it is what it is!
”Jason Kelce shared powerful thoughts on fatherhood in retirement speech” | Deseret News
Something interesting started happening recently in center-right media circles: Conservative women started turning actress Sydney Sweeney into their right-wing cause du jour. Apparently, “boobs are back” because…as far as sex symbols go, anyway…they had disappeared? That’s news to me. Honestly. Maybe I’m not the right type of conservative female to understand why putting Sweeney on a pedestal for flaunting her assets is worth our time or attention. Sure, the leftwing push towards demanding “body positivity” everywhere all the time deserves some pushback, but I’m pretty sure the blonde mega-babe has always lived at the top of the list as far as beauty standards go. Friends - Sweeney doesn’t need our help. And as far as causes to rally around are concerned, maybe let’s find one that lives outside the Hollywood bubble?
Political Horse Race
Source: NBC News
Well folks, Nikki Haley is officially out of the running for President of the United States. Primary season is over. We can all go home now.
As a native South Carolinian, I’ve always had a soft spot for Haley. Was she the perfect candidate? Heavens no. No one is. Would I still have been happy to have her be the Republican nominee? Sure! But as we’ve written here in The Slip on more than one occasion, politics is a numbers game. It’s all about banking those votes and whoever gets the most wins. And the reality is Haley never even came close. We could spend days dissecting the why - and perhaps we’ll do that here at some point. But the GOP is still Donald Trump’s party, and yes, I’m still figuring out how I feel about that. The operative in me assures you I will be a Team Player in 2024 no matter what. NO. MATTER. WHAT. The suburban, christian mom in me wants to be…not so sure yet.
But here’s what I know about the Haley campaign: She ran a heckuva race. I believe she cares about America. I believe she had a message that resonated with a lot of people. I believe she would have made a better first female president than Hillary Clinton or Kamala Harris. I also believe she had a tough, tough hill to climb. When you run for office, there are so many things that determine your fate and yet are out of your control. No one can control Trump or his grip on the party. And for what it’s worth, no one can control how some people just aren’t ready for a woman to be in the White House (yeah, I’m pulling the woman card here because it’s hard not to after watching this absurdity).
Anyway, whatever Nikki Haley does next - I’ll be watching!
Free Time
To watch: North Dakota Gov. Doug Burgum talk about why we designed cities all wrong. (it’s short!)
Also to watch: The Lincoln Lawyer on Netflix - it’s good!
And also to watch: Billie Eilish’s stunning performance of “What Was I Made For?” from the Oscars
To Listen: Finding Matt Drudge (do you know where he is???)
Thank you for reading! We’ll see you in two weeks! -Amanda